- Drug/alcohol/gambling/sex addictions
- Anger problems
- Difficulty asserting oneself
- Low motivation
- Unfulfilled potential
- Relationship frustrations
Individual Therapy with Adults
We continue to learn, grow and mature throughout our life unless something in us blocks this growth. We can be blocked by leftover beliefs/behaviors that we developed in childhood because we had to adapt to difficult conditions. We can also be blocked by excessive anxiety or feelings of low self-worth. Sometimes we develop unhealthy habits around alcohol or drugs that hamper our growth. Depression can show up when we feel increasingly frustrated and unfulfilled in our lives. Individual therapy can be a place to explore and come to understand why we feel the way we feel and how we got there. Getting a clear roadmap to what is happening to us begins to illuminate the pathway out of our current dilemmas. Then, with the support and feedback of the therapist, new ways of thinking, feeling and acting can be tried out.
When the initial excitement and joy of falling in love simmers down, the differences in style, communication and temperament between the two individuals becomes more apparent. Upsets and struggles happen more often. Couples have to find ways to deal with these differences so both parties can quickly get back to harmony and enjoyment of each other. This can be a challenge as that requires advanced skills to manage one’s emotional reactions and find the words to express one’s self effectively to another person. When not done well, unproductive arguing, hurtful words or passive withdrawal can result. Adding children to the mix can just add more issues to fight over.
My job as a couple’s therapist is to create a safe, controlled atmosphere where each person gets a chance to reveal their own experience of the relationship. Problems as well as strengths are identified. I then help people learn how to identify what they feel and how to express themselves without blame, hostility or withdrawal. I teach how to manage their anger and fight fairly so arguments can become productive conversations rather than unproductive venting sessions. I teach them how to set aside their own feelings long enough to truly listen and receive what their partner is saying. There is usually a lot of laughter in our sessions because we can all relate to these common human predicaments in the challenge of being a couple.